i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
