he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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