took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
