I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
