I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
