So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's rum buckets o'clock
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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