ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
