Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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