He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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