marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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