He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
