Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
