who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
