Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
