The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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