Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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