Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
