I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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