Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
