Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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