No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
