Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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