I just cut my nipple shaving
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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