The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
