Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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