Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
