At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
