i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
