Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
