Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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