nut hugger
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My balls are so social today.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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