"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
