he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
