i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
