So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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