you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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