Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
