You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
