I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
