out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
