We're facebook friends in real life
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This girl is more easily done than said...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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