Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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