He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
