I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize