dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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