She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
