I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
