His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
