Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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