Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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