They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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